Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Grammatically challenged starfish...

Yeah, I have nothing to write about. So I'm on to my final fallback; grammatically challenged starfish.
I make no promises about this post.

So here's some reasons why grammar and English in general might be hard if you're a starfish.

  • It's hard to learn to read and write when you're all arms. 
  • It's even harder when your arms are covered in feet. (Seriously, look it up. I did.)
  • And worse still when your eyes are on the end of your arms!
  • After vomiting your stomach onto your food in order to eat it, it's hard to focus.
  • The English language makes no sense to you. You're not even a fish!
  • Your relatives include urchins and cucumbers, neither of which are particularly proficient at using the English language.
  • Because of your portrayal in mainstream media, people think you're dumb and don't even bother trying to teach you (thanks, Patrick Star!).
  • Common idioms don't apply to you. Blood may be thicker than water, but what if your blood is water?
So, hopefully you learned something about starfish tonight. Be nice to our many armed friends, give them a grammar lesson!


P.S. I apologise for the preceeding post. I have no idea what just happened.

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